SCARED...

Its 12:10 am and I just got done packing MY DAUGHTER for her first trip away from me....I am at this moment sobbing uncontrollably. Tonight while rocking her I can't tell you how many times I told her I loved her and hugged her way to tight...I am going to miss her, more than I think I am ready for. I have had a lot of people tell me I am amazing for letting her go...that they could never do it....well I don't know if I can either...check with me 6 days from now. The day was spent buying her all new clothes, shoes (still no crocs...really where do you get the mary jane kind?), writing letters of permission, finding medical documents.....I really don't think I could be more prepared...but, not mentally! My brother and I would spend one week a summer away, he in ID and I always came to UT...we started young. I never thought of the day when I would send my kid away to experience life without me...well its here...she is young, i know, but, she will love every min. I was so back and forth this week, until my mom walked in our front door today..A lit up like the forth of july and was all over her Gma...I guess I always have a fear she will forget, she doesn't trust me.
She has plans laid out for her already, lots of time with her cousin, church next sunday, parks, pools, ducks (dogs), yummy food....and most of all FAMILY she rarely gets the pleasure of seeing.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...if I say it enough maybe I will start believing it...