why is being a grown up so hard sometimes? dave makes fun of me because i am still in the mind set that i am 21 and don't have to worry about anything but our kids and family. oh if that was only the case. we are at a crossroad in our life as a little family of four and if i was really as open as i claim i am i would blurt it out on my blog, but, somethings are better left unsaid.
i really shouldn't say being a grown up is hard, its not. you just have to deal with crappy things sometimes. bills, people, disappointment, not being able to order off the kids menu...just to name a few.
one thing i have learned is people let you down in life....depressing right? i carry my heart on my sleeve with loved ones and no matter how cold or heartless they maybe i put myself out there. BAD MOVE! i get hurt, i cry a lot, i get LET DOWN. so there comes a time (now) that you just say i am done. i know i am a good person, people around me know i am. i come from two good people who would do anything to help anyone. i love those two they gave me a great life, they have given me way to much, they have put up with a lot from their loved ones and they keep dealing with it. they are wonderful.
all i keep thinking is one day long from now when i am past this speed bump in the road of life (oh wow, i really just said that) the people that have let me down will wonder why? why i am not around to ask how they are? what are my kids up to? what are they like? and i will be happy with my little family that probably won't be just 4 by then. Happy with my husband, my kids, my parents, my in laws, and hopefully a dog or two. that is what keeps me going.
life is crazy for us, there is no doubt. dave graduates in a year and half. i am down to 7 months of school left. add is becoming a little kid and before i can blink she will be in preschool. she is smart and attentive. she is a little lady that shares and needs to have it her way still the same. goo is going to be 2 and that means i officially don't have a baby around. he is all boy, climbs, hits, gets dirty, and loves bugs. he follows his sister around and needs to do what she is doing. they are best friends and i am very blessed to be their mother. i have been told 4 times in the last week i have great kids, well people its true!
i know this sounds like a depressing blog, its not meant to be. dave and i have talked a lot lately about our life and we are in a really really good place. we have grown immensely from what we were and we continue to do so. we aren't perfect by any means but the place we are in makes up for the bad days that come our way every now and then.
hopefully once we get our big decisions figured out i will share them. hopefully we get them figured out...until then we will continue living life as it comes and enjoying almost every second of it!
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